Haruka in Blunderland
by Neptune's Mask
Summary: Ever wonder what Haruka was dreaming while unconscious during Sailor Deathmatch? Well, this little crazy story, is that explanation. Enjoy! It should make you laugh. .


**Haruka in Blunder-land**

Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own any of the Sailor Moon characters, nor the Wizard of Oz. I do, however, own the original plot line.

Summary: This is the explanation of Haruka's behavior directly after waking from her unconscious state in "Sailor Deathmatch." If you wanted to know what our favorite blonde had been dreaming about while being dropped on her nose by Michiru, and having Captain Sparrow trip over her, here you go

Chapter 1: Why am I in a skirt?

The next thing Haruka knew, after feeling a sharp pain to the back of her head, was being aware of a change in her environment, and her attire. The blonde looked down, and was shocked to find herself in a light blue and white checked mid-thigh length cotton and Lycra blend skirt, a black fitted tank top, and a black pair of high heeled pumps. She shook her head, of all things, a skirt? Her sailor fuku was different, she reasoned, as regardless of the uniform, she felt powerful as Sailor Uranus. But this, oh this was torture.

A soft barking caused her to peer to her left, where she practically tripped over herself. For near her slim ankles, wearing a black plushie costume, was Hotaru, now beginning to whine for attention. Her teal eyes widened.

"Hime-chan, what on earth are you doing dressed like that?" Haruka asked, leaning down to face her adopted daughter.

Hotaru leapt into her lap, bobbing her head and barking madly, leaving Haruka bewildered beyond repair.

"H-hotaru?" she questioned warily, this time prepared for the jump, and caught the plushie-Hotaru in her arms. "What am I going to do with you?" she asked of no one in particular, touching her nose to that of her daughter, much like one would a favored puppy. A happy bark was her only response.

"Anou," she muttered, tucking plushie-Hotaru under her left elbow, before her gaze settled on the door that was slightly ajar. Curiosity got the better of her, and she nudged the door open, met by a vast array of colors that she had never before seen in nature.

She took a tentative step outside, before seeing a pair of feet sticking out from underneath the house. Nani! Had she fallen on someone? She approached it warily, trying to determine if she had just killed someone. She winced when it became clear that the person the house had apparently fallen on was dead. Before she had much more time to think it over, a soft glowing light appeared, and from seemingly out of nowhere, a woman appeared who looked suspiciously like Michiru.

"Welcome," said the woman with aqua hair and melodic voice. She surveyed the damage before smiling and facing Haruka. "So, are you a good witch, or a bad witch?"

Haruka tilted her head to the side prior to answering. "I can be anything you want me to be," she replied, bowingflirtatiously, then kicked herself mentally. She was dressed as a woman, and had probably alienated the only person here who might have helped her get home. She accredited her flirting to the fact that she resembled Michiru so much.

The other woman looked at her incredulously. "Are you a shape-shifter then?"

Haruka winced. The woman couldn't be more naïve. "Anou, no ma'am, I suppose you might just call me a senshi."

"Senshi?" she rolled it over her tongue like something foreign. The aqua haired beauty scanned Haruka's form. "You're a warrior?" she asked.

"Hai," Haruka nodded, feeling out of place with a squirming Hotaru under her arm, and in a bloody skirt, but confident regardless.

"Show me," she said, crossing her pale arms in front of the bodice of her matching aqua gown.

Haruka panicked, what if she couldn't transform here? Her mind raced as she felt the other's eyes on her. She took a deep breath, well, here goes nothing, she thought.

"Uranus Crystal Power Makeup!" she shouted, her right hand up in the air, her henshin pen spontaneously materializing in said hand. She gently set plushie-Hotaru down, and the transformation took place. Sailor Uranus now stood in place of Tenoh Haruka.

She ran a finger along the edge of the Space Sword, turning to face the other woman with her characteristic smirk on her face.

She nodded. "Alright, whatare your strengths and special abilities,warrior?"

Haruka sweatdropped, 'Oh you have no idea, but I'll behave and just show you the damn Space Sword's power.' "I'd stand back if I were you," the teal eyed senshi warned, crouching down to attack, though she felt lacking without Michiru at her side.

She complied, watching the display interestedly as," Space Sword Blaster!" was shouted. A flash of white-hot energy seemed to be sunlight itself, as sherushed ahead, ripping a nearby bush asunder, and then sheathedthe swordagain, an arrogant smile on her handsome face.

She clapped in quiet applause. "Is that all of your power, warrior?" she asked curiously.

Haruka smirked again," Oh honey, your world couldn't handle my other attack. I'd destroy half the pretty scenery here."

"Very well," the aqua haired woman said," I'm Melinda by the way. Who are you?"

"You may refer to me either as Sailor Uranus, or my civilian name is Tenoh Haruka," the blonde replied.

"Pleasure to meet you," Melinda said, reaching out a delicate hand to shake Haruka's.

"Same here Melinda," Haruka replied, shaking it firmly, before de-transforming back to Haruka.

Melinda smiled mysteriously and seemed to be looking over Haruka's shoulder. Haruks glanced behind her, following the other's line of sight, and gasped. The feet sticking out from under the house were now devoid of their shoes, and seemed to be almost shrinking.

"Look," Melinda said, indicating Haruka's own feet.

Puzzled, she did as asked, and had a minor panic attack. The running shoes were now on her feet! "That's disgusting," she said, "a dead person's shoes on my feet! I never thought I'd prefer heels to sneakers, but oh dear god, that's gross! How do I get them off?" she asked of Melinda.

Melinda only smiled again, and replied," You can't."

A flabbergasted Haruka stared at her. "NANI?" she nearly shouted, sounding oh so intelligent. "But, why can't I remove them?"

Something seemed to flicker in Melinda's eyes, and she simply shook her head, as if to say she did not know either. Then she turned to the colorful scenery, saying,"It's alright, you can come out now," she seemed to be speaking to the landscape itself.

Haruka didn't have time to question before it was answered in the form of little people popping up out of essentially nowhere. The bushes and flowers came to life, and she realized that those things were in actuality, tiny people who scarcely came up to her thighs.

One little person came forth, who looked very much like Chiba Mamoru, a small air of authority around him. "As the Mayor of Munchkinland, I'd like to welcome you, and to thank you," he paused, squinting to read a piece of paper that he appeared to pull from thin air," Tenoh Haruka, " he said at last, approaching her, now coming to her knees, only to be accosted by plushie-Hotaru.

"What a strange animal this is," he said, backing away from her.

"She isn't an animal really, she's my daughter pretending to be a dog," Haruka explained, though the explanation made as little sense to her as it probably did to the Munchkinland mayor.

He didn't exactly seem to understand her, but their conversation was interrupted by a shrill wail, and another woman who again, remarkably resembled Michiru.

The other woman, dressed in a tight and revealing black dress, as well as a stereotypical witch's hat, stalked toward the house Haruka had landed in, and Hotaru started growling as she then faced Haruka.

"You!" she shouted, her pretty face contorting in her rage, pointing an accusing finger at her nose. "You killed my sister!"

Haruka stared at her in bewilderment. "Nani? Um, gomen nasai? I certainly didn't mean to," she stuttered, trying to figure out how to respond, trying to ignorethat aside from the factshe was pissed off to high heaven, she was hotter than hell.

The other aqua haired woman, decidedly sexier than her elegant counter-part glared at Haruka, then turned again to her sister's remains, her fury sparked anew by the absence of her sister's enchanted running shoes.

She yelled again, and then saw the sought-after item gracing the feet of her sister's killer. "Goddamn you!" she shouted again, advancing on Haruka who took a wary step back. It didn't matter whether she was Haruka or Sailor Uranus; a livid woman was a scary sight, especially when that anger was aimed at her.

Therefore, she did the only two things that cam naturally to her in the confrontation of an angry woman. She fell to her knees in apology, and kissed the fuming woman's hand, hoping she wouldn't be slapped for it.

The other woman was too shocked to respond. "What **are** you doing?" she asked, too taken aback to move her hand.

"Anou, apologizing?" Haruka responded, bringing her lips away, watching the woman in black carefully.

She sputtered," Well, well, that's, that's just," she paused, shook her head and said," Oh never mind, I'll be back, Tenoh Haruka, I'll be back for you, my sister's shoes, and your little plushie too!"

And she was gone. Haruka blinked, then turned to regard Melinda. "Who the hell was that?" she asked dryly.

Melinda giggled behind her own hand. "Oh, that was my sister as well, her name is Melphaba, but she can't stand it, so she goes by May. She seemed fond of you," she giggled again.

Haruka turned a lovely shade of crimson. "I, I have a girlfriend, "she stated, still completely out of her element after that encounter.

"Oh?" she replied, taking a step closer to the blonde senshi of the wind.

"Yes," she said a little louder, and before any further conversation could be had, a chorus line of tiny girls in tutus came forward.

"We represent the Lullaby League," they said, there were five of them, and they bore a strong resemblance to Usagi, Rei, Minako, Makoto, and Ami. They began their welcoming dance, and the one who looked like Usagi, was a klutz just like her too. Not one minute into their routine, she accidentally stepped on one of her companions' foot, causing a domino effect, and they all landed in a heap of tangled legs and four heads looked toward the klutzy one in reproach.

"Gomen ne!" she shouted, bursting into tears just like the real Usagi as well.

"Baka-ne," the others mumbled, as though this was a common occurrence, though without any animosity in their voices.

Haruka's eyes grew wide again, though she couldn't repress the growing smile. "Arigatou," she said, leaning down and ruffling the Usagi-look-a-like's hair, giving her that one-million dollar smile, and was pleased to see her blush.

"Well," she said to Melinda, "What am I supposed to do?"

"It's simple, you must go see the Guardian of Oz. I'm sure that he will be able to help you get back home, also, you should keep an eye out for my sister. Though, as I said, she seems fond of you, you did accidentally kill her sister, our sister," she said with softening eyes.

"Hai," Haruka replied, "So which way should I go to reach the Guardian?"

Melinda smirked slightly, "Follow the golden brick road, it will lead you to the Guardian's city, the Garnet City," she answered before disappearing back into that soft glowing light from whence she came.

Haruka blinked a few times, looking down at the again happily barking Hotaru, before picking her up, and doing as Melinda had instructed. The entire way she kept muttering to herself, wondering if she had truly lost her ever-loving mind somewhere back in the house, in this goddamned skirt.

A/N: Ready for more of the insanity? Let me know! **Neptune's Mask**


End file.
